I'm a published poet!

Random fact about moi: I became a published poet at the age of 7.

Yes, I know. How much of a genius could I be??

Without further ado, I give you my poem.

THE OCEAN

The fish, mermaids, crabs and seahorses

all swim in my salty waters.

All the mermaids ride the seahorses

getting away from sharks.

Dolphins play with the mermaids all day long,

while seahorses race by their sides.

The colorful fish play with everything

and I hear the sounds of my mermaids calling each other

and collecting my shells, which are my gifts to my waters.

Okay. So its not exactly Pulitzer Prize winning, but I was seven. And I really liked the Little Mermaid.

Um... no.

"SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE is not read by 17-year-olds, but by 11-year-olds who want to be 17, and who don't have wise parents."

This was tweeted by John Piper who is a great pastor and a very influential man. However, he really shouldn't tweet about teen girl magazines when he has never actually read one.

(I'm gonna insert here that "tweet" is such an awkward word. It sounds like "teat".)

I resent the statement, mostly because I am 20 and still have a subscription. (I'm letting it go, I like the fact that I can actually afford the clothes that are in there.)

The truth is that I am actually fairly impressed with a magazine that is from a secular world and the messages it gives girls. The articles about "hooking up" and sex always have stories from girls who regret making the decisions that they did. At the bottom of the sex articles there is a huge (about half a page) block that is brightly colored and tells teens why abstinence is the best option. And the last few articles about sex have actually been about "How to talk to your Mom about sex". How is that bad??? That is great! Its an awkward subject, and having a magazine give you tips from psychologists and experts on how to approach your mom is fantastic.

I could go on all day, but the truth is that over the past few years I have seen Seventeen magazine show more modest fashions, give better sex advice (namely not to do it or talk to your mom if you're thinking about it) and run articles that are helpful to girls. Yeah, maybe an 11 year old shouldn't be reading it, but that really isn't the issue here.

What is the real issue?? The real issue is that far too many young girls are reading Cosmopolitan. I myself have given in to the glossy covers, but the truth is that EVERY issue contains a plethora of sex advice, tips, activities, etc. I don't think its a fashion magazine (that section is actually rather small), nor does it give helpful relationship advice. All it talks about is sex. Now someone tell me that Seventeen is the culprit. I don't think so. I have seen girls toting Cosmopolitan from class to class since middle school. So there ya have it Mr. Piper. Go wage your war on Cosmo, and leave my Seventeen alone.

Mumps, Scabies and pooing on heads

Bonnie and I had an interesting conversation on FB chat tonight.

*********************************

Bonnie

phtoooooey

Rebecca:

LOSER

YOU ARE SITTING NEXT TO ME

the one time I am at your house you IM me

Bonnie

HAHAHAHAAHAH

10:33pm

Rebecca

but you never answer when I IM you

LAME

10:34pm

Bonnie

Yes I do...what are you talkin bout, guh?

10:51pm

Bonnie

you are very mumpy.

10:51pm

Rebecca

not as mumpy as your mumpy bum

you mumpy mumper

10:51pm

Bonnie

mumpety mump mump

10:52pm

Rebecca

I wanna hump your mumpety mump mump

10:52pm

Bonnie

excuse mump??

10:52pm

Rebecca

yo rump is mumpety mumpin

10:53pm

Bonnie

I'm mump stumped.

10:53pm

Rebecca

I'm sure you would like a stump to mump you

10:54pm

Bonnie

wha? to hump-mump me? I'll bet you'd like the mump in the mump-lump.

10:55pm

Rebecca

I'd like to hump your mump lump you mumpety piece of rump.

10:56pm

Bonnie

Let me bump my mumpy rump to your mumpety-hup stump.

*hump

*hump-stump

*disco-stick

10:57pm

Rebecca

I want your disco stick to humpety hump my mumpety mump mump

10:58pm

Bonnie

maybe you should type that to whats his face

10:58pm

Rebecca

maybe I should

then we could humpety hump with our mumpety mumps all rumpity night long

10:59pm

Bonnie

maybe you should, you MotherFump mump.

11:00pm

Rebecca

don't bring your mother into this you mumpy daughter

11:02pm

Bonnie

let's use another funny word: doiley

doily

11:03pm

Rebecca

do you wanna doily me in the doily-er

11:10pm

Bonnie

what about "scabies?"

11:10pm

Rebecca

like.... you scabies ridden babies eating scabier

11:11pm

Bonnie

eeeeww

11:11pm

Rebecca

well what did you expect??? scabies is a weird word

Bonnie

eeeeww

11:11pm

Rebecca

well what did you expect??? scabies is a weird word

11:11pm

Bonnie

use the words "and then she pooped on its head" in a sentence.

11:13pm

Bonnie

come up with a story that ends with that.

11:13pm

Rebecca

okay fine

11:13pm

Bonnie

FINE

11:13pm

Rebecca

one day there was this girl. Her name was Prunella.

11:14pm

Bonnie

ew

juicy fruit?

11:14pm

Rebecca

She met this bird who became her best friend.

They hung out everyday, and he called her Pruny.

11:14pm

Bonnie

ehurh

aww

11:14pm

Rebecca

She hated being called Pruny.

11:14pm

Bonnie

naturally

11:14pm

Rebecca

So one day she decided she was going to get him back.

11:14pm

Bonnie

whu oh

11:14pm

Rebecca

And then she pooped on his head. And started calling him Poopy.

11:15pm

Bonnie

preach it sista!

11:15pm

Rebecca

Everybody made fun of him.

And nobody ever called her Pruny again.

11:15pm

Bonnie

that is a gross story. "Pooped on his head?" that is crude.

11:15pm

Rebecca

Fin.

11:15pm

Bonnie

Ah! And the moral of the story is...?

11:15pm

Rebecca

you suggested it you crude mumpety mump

the moral is that you shouldn't give people nicknames they don't like

11:16pm

Bonnie

You are a Mump-Muppet/

a Mumpet!

11:17pm

Rebecca

YOU WISH YOU WERE A MUMPET

Muppets are cool

ones that are mumpy are awesomer

11:17pm

Bonnie

what does a mumpy muppet look like, I wonder?

11:17pm

Rebecca

like YO FAVE

oops

FACE

11:18pm

Bonnie

my fave? my favorite what?

11:18pm

Rebecca

I DON'T KNOW

I can't see

I AM CRYING

because you called me a MUMPET

I am NOT A STRUMPET

ooooh....a MUMPET STRUMPET

11:19pm

Bonnie

A STRUMUMUPPET?

11:20pm

Rebecca

MISS PIGGY

if she got mumps she would be a mumpet strumpet

11:20pm

Bonnie

indeed

very mumpy

11:20pm

Rebecca

and very.... strumpy?

11:21pm

Bonnie

what about Stumpy?

11:22pm

Rebecca

BUT IT ISN'T THE SAME AS BEING STRUMPY

11:22pm

Bonnie

stay on hold...i am getting a pic for you...so stay on hold

11:22pm

Rebecca

okay

Bonnie

http://s297.photobucket.com/albums/mm212/bew409/?action=view&current=kermit_the_frog12379633021.jpg

11:28pm

Rebecca

A MUMPET

***************************

We are strange.

Regina Spektor

So I am on a Regina kick today (if you hadn't already noticed my twitter/facebook statuses). If you haven't listened to her new album Far, you should. Its reaaaaally good. You should spring and get the deluxe edition because the bonus tracks are worth it. The two singles she's released have been "Eet" and "Laughing With" both of which are hauntingly beautiful and smartly written.

I provide youtube-age:

"Eet"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPMIXk-ipT0

"Laughing With"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rov3pV9PsRI

Someday I will learn how to actually put the video in there. Today is not that day.

Long time no see.

Yeah yeah.... I suck at keeping up with blogging. Its not my fault. I swear.

I will give you a rundown of my summer:

-Work

-Photography class (which was actually kind of hard)

-Paolo Nutini concert (AMAZING.)

-wisdom tooth extraction on Wednesday (cute dentist makes it worth it... did I mention he's single??)

-Turning into an NPR lover. Not sure what happened after I swore I wouldn't become a pretentious indie-loving, scarf wearing liberal. But this winter I started wearing scarves. I then discovered I actually hate politics. And I shamelessly listen to Pussycat Dolls AND Andrew Bird. Not to mention all the indie films I've seen this year. I must be "evolving" as a person.

That is mostly it though. I had to work a lot to help pay for school. (Ick.)

The rest of my summer has involved my dear Bonnie as we have spent lots of time together. Not to mention all that texting back and forth. (They [the texts] have been the bright spot in my mundane office environment.) But yes.... we have had tea, watched movies, and spent a lot of time making faces at the other's musical tastes. (I still say some of the stuff she likes is the soundtrack to slitting your wrists, she still refuses to jump on the Lady Gaga bandwagon even though her music is like crack for my ears. Lady Gaga also dresses like she is on crack, but that is a different story.) So Bonnie, thank you for making my summer bearable. I can't wait for our ANTM nights during the school year. ;)

In other news:

My family crisis was semi-resolved. If my dad could find a job all would be well.

I started going to Vineyard Community Church in Marietta and I love it. First time in my life I have really looked forward to going to church, and not just cause Tattoo Guy is super cute.

I now know how to take a darn good picture. I need to hone my skills further now. Its as close to being artistic as I'm gonna get because I can't draw to save my life.

And I still haven't seen Harry Potter since all my friends are lame and saw it without me.

The end.